About that whole Fake Geek Girl thing…

17 Dec

Alright, because I so infrequently blog about actual things rather than just my own life, here’s something of substance.

Here’s a situation in which, I have to admit, I was totally wrong.

Remember this image?

 

gamer_girl___xbox360_by_istoleyourshiny-d30rsdz-1

 

It sparked thousands of reposts, reblogs, re-whatever-they-call-it-on-your-preferred-social-media-site, mostly of people making fun of the subject, by imitating her “sexy” face to an exaggerated effect, and eating various consoles, controllers, and games. And the first time I saw each of these spoofs, I laughed. (I mean, not out loud – my literally Out Loud laugh is something that can’t be predicted, even by me, but usually crops up upon seeing game glitches and images like this. But anyway.)

I laughed because, upon seeing the image for the first time, I’ll admit. I made several snap judgments – she’s not a gamer! She just wants attention! She probably borrowed that controller from her brother and doesn’t even know how to use it, nor what an Xbox is! Turns out, all of those assumptions are false. But what’s even worse, is that I instantly judged her not only for “not being a real gamer,” but for the intent behind the photo.

I assumed she was a Fake Geek Girl.

I’m pretty ashamed of myself right now, to be honest – I assumed this girl (Courtney, as it turns out) took this picture for attention. Look at me, boys! I’m a hot girl with a game controller! Silly boys, don’t hit on me! But the article I linked above (here it is again in case you overlooked it: http://nerdcaliber.com/do-you-judge-a-gamer-by-their-picture/) explained that she took it as a joke for her PS3-loving boyfriend, saying that she loved her Xbox more than she loved him.

But above all, what I realized is how shockingly easy it is to make those snap judgments. Having dealt with my fair share of “you just want attention,” “you don’t REALLY play games,” etc., I thought I’d never fall into that trap. I thought I could TELL who was legitimate and who wasn’t – but it turns out, when you take all context away from a picture, all you’re left with is different interpretations of it.

You know what? I can now SORT OF see where all those raging misogynists get there ideas about fake geek girls. I mean, I didn’t take it so far as to go on tirades about fake geek girls poisoning conventions with their short skirts and “look-at-me” attitudes; I simply sighed, rolled my eyes, and moved on with my day. And I’m not saying this makes it ok, or that we should stop standing up for ourselves and for female nerds. All I’m saying is, I can understand why they might think that way, and that’s really the first step toward combating their ideology.

So, women out there who have been labeled a Fake Geek Girl: I’m pretty sure people like Tony Harris, with his now-infamous Fake Geek Girl copypasta rant (included below), are just confused. Sure, he didn’t need to take it that far and is probably a jackass for other reasons, but that sort of thinking trap is SO EASY to fall into.

tony harris fake geek girl

 

That said, this kind of thinking is ALSO why subreddits like /r/GirlGamers (as iffy as I am on the name) still exist. Why do we keep harping on about the “Girrrrrrl Gamer” phenomenon? Because people like Tony Harris keep trying to shame us. First it was about showing the world that Girls Play Games Too (TM). Next it was about perhaps making conventions more female-friendly (and holy SHIT, look at all the hate this female journalist got for simply stating that she’s glad PAX has a no-booth-babe policy), and all the shit we put up with and all the dick pics we get if we (gasp, shock) dare to use voice chat in-game. Now, it’s just about sticking up for ourselves when people like Harris try to tell us we don’t belong in the geekosphere.

~Jess “Ruckus” Brohard <3

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I guess I’ll post this vlog here…

26 Nov

…in case there’s someone out there who reads my blog but doesn’t already follow me on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, or Google+?

Anyway, here it is, in all its awkward glory:

 

I guess I’m still not sure what I’m doing with this thing. It’s been over a year since starting it (or almost a year? I forget), and I feel like I still keep changing its purpose. Social media? A way to dump random thoughts? A place to legitimately blog about gaming or other topics?

All of the above. It’s so scattered and random, but not in that romantic way that others’ blogs are.

Blech.

I’m allowed to have two blogs. I’m allowed to compartmentalize my thoughts if I want. Stop judging me.

I am the 1%

20 Nov

…of game journalists, that is.

I say that because I once more have entered the realm of paid gaming journalism. Moreso than that, the “paid” part is not just a technicality – an offer of “$0.50 per article or $1.00 per review, with a bonus if it gets over 1,000 hits.” Those technicalities are great for journos just getting their feet wet, and wanting to take that intermediate step between “unpaid/volunteer” writer and “I have professional paid journalistic experience” writer.

No, I am now a paid freelance reporter for Playnews, a news agency for the gaming industry. It’s a part-time job and is paid as such, but just being paid anything at all, let alone the decent pay that I’m getting, is enough to make me stop and realize how fortunate I am.

Between writing for Playnews, hosting for MMOBomb, and modeling (blogged about here), I’m able to make a living doing only things that I legitimately love and want to do as a career. Both of the industries of which I am a part are SO hard to break into, and while it’s true that I’m still on the lower rungs, I’ve got at least a foothold. I’m on my way.

I realized this last night, and began to sit there and think about how lucky I am – but then I interrupted myself to instead realize that I HAVEN’T been lucky. I haven’t had a single thing handed to me. I haven’t gotten to where I am because of connections, knowing someone, doing a favor for someone, etc. I’ve gotten here through hard work, refusing to fail, being good at what I do, and a bit of luck that I happened to find these opportunities.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m hella thankful to all the clients for whom I do freelance work; I exceedingly glad that MMOBomb decided to bring me on as an on-camera host, that Playnews decided to hire me as a reporter, and that my modeling agent decided to sign with me and is getting me more-or-less steady modeling gigs.

But THOSE are the people to whom I’m grateful – and hopefully that comes through in the work that I do for them.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I realize that I’m now in a really good position; a position in which I always dreamed I’d be, a position for which others are constantly striving, and a position that I’m not taking for granted.

Things are good right now, and I can only see them getting better.

TWO BLARGS??

20 Nov

Yeah, yeah, I haven’t posted here in four months? CRY ABOUT IT

No really, I’ve just been blogging somewhere else lately. Around June/July I began getting into modeling and acting, and for some reason, it just didn’t feel right to blog about that here. I knew I needed to write about it somewhere, so as I mentioned on (what I thought was) my last post here, I created FaceTheBrightLights.com, which just made me feel so much better about it.

But then lately, I’ve been going the other direction and getting more into gaming? Professionally, I mean – I never stopped gaming as a hobby, just put it on the backburner career-wise.

So for about five months, my main “career pursuit” was, I suppose, modeling – but that’s sort of changing again? Not that I’m giving up on the entertainment business…just that I sort of realized that I mostly got into that:

a) After leaving my previous job and having a moment of panic and “what else do I do now??”

b) Because I realized that the majority of the “on-camera gaming hosts” I see out there were actors who were hired through an audition process or submitted by their agents, rather than due to being legitimate gamers. No disrespect to Misses Chobot and Kyle, nor really to any of the other actresses who do those jobs and may or may not actually play games as a hobby – really, who am I to discredit them if their bosses like their work and they do a good job? My point is simply that making a name for myself in the gaming world wouldn’t exactly get me anywhere with regards to that.

Also, I’ve recently accepted a position as a freelance games reporter for Playnews.biz. It’s only a part-time thing, which is perfect for me because it still leaves me time to do my weekly show for MMOBomb, grow my personal YouTube and Twitch channels, and pursue modeling – Saturday, for instance, I walked in my first fashion show!

I think I’ll pick this blog back up, but only in regards to gaming pursuits; I just feel more comfortable separating my two careers into two separate blogs.

Protected: Why I left my job

18 Jun

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Gaming Recap – 6/18/2012

18 Jun

I’m about 99% sure that everyone who reads my blog also follows me on either Twitter, Facebook, or YouTube. But, JUST in case I have a reader out there who doesn’t…

 

 

Click up there on that play button! Do it, it’ll make awesome things happen, I promise!

Anyway, as I mentioned in my previous post, I’m back doing my daily gaming videos on my own channel. I don’t currently plan to crosspost them here every day (you’ll just have to check YouTube for that), but maybe occasionally. Or when something momentous happens.

So now I’m trying to decide my next steps. I won’t get into TOO many specifics, but I’ve been trying to decide whether I should create a domain to crosspost my videos to. At this point I don’t think I’m ambitious enough to want to start my own gaming news site, with articles and writers, etc., so it would mostly serve as a page to display everything. On the other hand, having my own site would allow me to try to get media badges to events. But that’s a discussion for another day.

16 Jun

If you don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you might have noticed the latest cool thing I’ve done:

 

More pictures will be posted soon – I modeled for about 7 t-shirts and two hoodies, but only the hoodie pictures are up on the site so far.

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I’m baaaack

13 Jun

If you didn’t notice, I took a hiatus from this blog. Made all my posts private, and stopped any new ones – this was basically a result of…well, it was a result of a lot of things. But mainly, let’s just say that I didn’t want my personal thoughts and feelings (along with the goings-on in my life) to be published for everyone (or a certain few people) to read.

I’m over that, and I’m rebooting this thing.

So. If you’re someone with whom I went to high school, or someone I used to know, and you’re just out on an internet meander to see what everyone’s been up to, here’s mine:

I went off to college, stayed for four years, and graduated. Hoorah for education.

I put that education to use for a year working for The Man at a large multinational bank.

I then moved out to California (circa March, 2012), which brings me to the present.

For about three months I worked for a startup website out here, doing on-camera work, and a few other things. Now, if you noticed the past tense there and are a concerned friend or family member, don’t be. (I mean, keep being my friend or family member, just don’t be concerned.)

Because I’m sure you’re wondering what happened, and because you just couldn’t wait to hear the news from me (and I promise, I would have told you if only you’d had the patience not to bother me about it until I was ready), I’m no longer with that company. (Mark this down for future reference: if you pester me for news, you get to hear about it by cyber stalking me rather than with a happy phone call.)

The only thing I’ll say for now on this matter is that I left for bigger and better opportunities…which, again, you’ll hear all about in the coming weeks.

Back to the concerned part: don’t be. I’m a big girl by now – emotionally, financially, and in nearly every other adverbial sense, I’m doing just fine.

I can’t (don’t want to?) go into detail about nearly any part of that for now. Just trust that I will make things known when I’m ready.

 

(Oh yeah, and one other thing: if you’ve missed my daily gaming news, check out my YouTube channel again starting Monday.)

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“Are you famous?”

15 Mar

Last night, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I answered to find one of my roommates – big surprise, right?

“Hey,” I greeted him, “what’s up?”

“Hey. Are you famous?”

Caught off guard, I sort of laughed and said “what? No, of course not!”

“…you totally are! Don’t lie, you’re famous! Are we gonna have paparazzi around here??”

After being thoroughly confused, it turned out that one of our other roommates had a friend over earlier who apparently recognized me from YouTube.

Internet fame +1.

Speaking of which, I swear I’ll make a video and post photos this weekend.

Why I’m Excited about Guild Wars 2

20 Feb

I never actually played the first Guild Wars. Actually, as I type this, I’m intermittently alt-tabbing into the game client and playing the free trial of it.

But I absolutely loved World of Warcraft back in the day. I say “back in the day,” referring mostly to Vanilla WoW; not that I disliked all the expansions, just that for me, WoW was at its peak a number of years ago when I first started playing.

I believe it was December 2006, and my high school boyfriend had convinced me (through nothing more than gentle persuasion) to begin playing. Once I did, I was hooked. Not in an “ignoring school, friends, and personal hygiene to level grind and get the latest gear” sort of way. More of a “staying up til 2 AM eating Doritos and questing with my friends until going to sleep at a semi-reasonable hour” addiction.

Anyway, I still don’t know what it was about WoW that had me so instantly mesmerized. Maybe it was the (at the time) gorgeous graphics, the fact that it was my first MMO, the  lush fantasy worlds, the character customization, the fact that I could quest with my friends, or, most likely, all of the above. But for some reason, no other MMO has had the same draw for me – most notably, Star Wars: The Old Republic.

I played SWTOR for about a month, itching for that same WoW experience – but I was disappointed. Not that it wasn’t a good game – I think a number of other factors were at play. First, I’m really only a casual fan of the Star Wars franchise. Not that I don’t enjoy the movies (meaning, of course, Episodes IV through VI). And I do love the occasional Kessel Run debate. But I hesitate to call myself a “Star Wars fan” simply because I feel that branding myself as such would be an overstatement.

Additionally, I think I’m simply more of a fantasy, swords-n-shields type of nerd. Not that one has to choose between fantasy and sci-fi and ardently defend his or her camp; just that some are some like medieval/fantasy subject matter better, others like sci-fi/space/robots, and some like both equally. It’s why I never got into the Mass Effect series and why I became addicted to The Elder Scrolls and Neverwinter Nights.

Anyway. WoW has unfortunately long since lost its allure. Sure, I stilled played it off and on until early 2011 (taking months-long breaks), but toward the end it just wasn’t as much fun. I loved the adventuring and question, and honestly liked leveling up. Raiding and PvP were fun as well, but weren’t the focus of the game for me – so when that’s what the game became all about for everyone else, I realized I was just about done with it. I was a self-proclaimed casual player, and everyone else got a little too serious for me.

So, while I know that Guild Wars is entirely different than WoW for lots of reasons, I’m really loving what I see of the trial so far. First, the lack of monthly fee means I can much more easily take a break from the game and pick it back up again, without feeling like I’ve gotta finish out the month or I’ll be wasting money; it’s much more suited for casual players.

Also, the screenshots and art I’ve seen from GW2 look absolutely amazing. The lush fantasy worlds are exactly what I loved about WoW at first. And while the first game’s graphics are (understandably) nothing to write home about anymore, the hour or so I’ve played of it so far has already hooked me.

In the end, I guess the best way to describe what I’m feeling about Guild Wars 2 is that I see it sort of as the Second Coming of WoW – a fun fantasy game that’s only as competitive as you want it to be.

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